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Film jokes

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

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    • I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.

    I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.

    If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

    P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

    Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

    Actor: Really? What do I do?

    Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

    My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha

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    • When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.

    What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

    One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

    Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.