Film jokes
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
Watched a really cool cartoon about rabbits with Down syndrome yesterday. You should try watching it on catch up... "Watership Down."
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.
Bra eat E.T.?
Spaceballs: The Joke.
Spaceballs: The Comment.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.