Figure Of Speech jokes
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because his lyrics were too ICY!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.