Figure Of Speech jokes
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because his lyrics were too ICY!
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.