Fight jokes
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Fight in the comments.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"