Fight jokes

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.

Two orphans fighting in the rain.

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

What war did Africa not win? The water fight.

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

Where does the Batman go to pee?

The Batroom.

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"