Fight jokes

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?

A: Because they were fencing.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*

Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*

2021-2022

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?

Just turn off the lights.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.