Fight jokes

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?

A: Because they were fencing.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*

Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*

2021-2022

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?

Just turn off the lights.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.