Fat jokes
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.