Fat Jokes

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.

Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.

Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.

Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.