Fat jokes

What do you call a fat downie?

A couch potato.

Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.

Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.