Fat jokes

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.

Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?

Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

What do you call a person with a fat brain?

A fat neek!

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.

Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.