Fat jokes
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
WOW ITS FAT
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
Khalil Abubakar
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"