What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
