Fat jokes

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

You are the reason double doors were invented.

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.