Fat jokes

What are three things you can't give a black guy?

A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."