Fat Jokes

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

What did the cow say to the fat pig?

Moooooooove over!

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.