Fat jokes

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

Who is the most horny and fat ass god?

Kim Jung Un.

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.