Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Faster Jokes
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
