Fart

Fart jokes

World

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.

Dick

Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?

Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.

Man

Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.

Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.

He didn't get the job.

Chili

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

Uranus

Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?

Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.

Plane

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

Skunk

I love to smell skunks, but I lick their stinky butt. It's delicious. My breath smells like fart.

Dumpster

Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.

Insult

You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!

Queen

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

Paper Towel

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"