What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it, and shouts "I love my country!", Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country", finally the Iraqi man drops a bomb, and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted my house blew up!"
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
i farted
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
