Fans jokes
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
FC Chelsea fans are just as nervous, stupid, scared, and restless as their allies.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
I like tortles.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)