Fans jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Justin Bieber

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.

The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?

Because they keepped.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert? (Part 2)

To find his fans!

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where’s Trump’s clock?"

"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.