Family jokes

How do you make an orphan shut up?

You tell his mom.

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

There's no parent signature.

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!

Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.

Why did Orphan become famous?

Because he didn't need parent permission.

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

You know, their family dinners must be so happy.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭

Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"