Family jokes
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Memes
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
Minivan (DYM 138).
Mom, (DYM 147)
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.