Family jokes
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Thanksgiving
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
Your dad is your mom.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.