Family jokes
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!