Family jokes
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
Orphan more like “poor”phan because nobody likes him! :)
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...