I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...
How to make an orphan BLEED Step 1- Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family Step 2- LAUGH EVILY as they BLEED Step 3- tell them to kys Step 4- leave that mental asylum
I will always remeber my dads last words.... "15 dollars and ill jump."
My father left me at a young age
He was only five
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
joe: are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles
joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorow.
mom said dad had the best pullout game... now im an uncle
My sisters ask me "Are you really a virgin?" I say "That's nun of your business"
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
What is the difference between you're girlfriend and you're sister
There both sweet home Alabama
I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed". I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there son".
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I ever knew
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree
you call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away
God: you're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: douvle it and give it to the next person
What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?
In the U.K, it's a swear word
In America, it's a family reunion
one time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent
