Family jokes
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.