Family jokes
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both canโt see their parents. ๐๐๐๐๐
Memes
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
My dad just comes and goes.
Why couldnโt the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale