I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
My dad just comes and goes.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
