Family jokes
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Why does an orphan have an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.