Family jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,

5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

They don’t have a closet to hide in.

What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?

I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

Why are orphans always sad?

Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."