Family jokes
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
Memes
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.