Family jokes

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make him clap until his parents come back.

Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

What is a "dad?"

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

I fucked your mom.

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."