Family jokes
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
It's Christmas Eve
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
Why do orphans play GTA? To get wanted.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"