Family jokes
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.