Family jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Memes
ME AND MY SISTER IM ONE IN GLASSES
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬