Family jokes
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.