Family jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where the home is.

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?

Because she is a home-y.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.