Family jokes
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
I made a website about orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.