Family jokes

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"

What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?

One is allowed in the house.

Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?

Because it can't find the home button.

Your mom's hot.

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?

A: They can’t find home.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?

Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.