Family jokes
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.