Family jokes
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
Memes
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.