Family jokes
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
That's all is needed to complete my day
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
You're more uglier.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.