Family

Family jokes

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

A baseball player has a home to run to.

Trash

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

Dad

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

Memes

Orphan

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

Orphan

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

Mom

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

Dad

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

Gold

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Son

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

Uncle

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.

Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?