Family jokes

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren't.

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.

I made a website for an orphan.

It had no homepage.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

Why do orphans hate cereal?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Why are orphans never in jail?

Because they're never wanted.

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Why do orphans die young?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Where's your mom?

In the bin.

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.