Family jokes
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.