Family jokes
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
What do you call your mom? Gay.
Hollow Knight Meme
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.