Family jokes

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.

What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

Both their parents were separated.

Couldn't be me being an orphan.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?

Answer: The family tree!

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.