Family jokes
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Memes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?
They don't have a home to run to.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.