Family jokes
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Memes
Joke turned serious
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Why can't orphanages play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?
They don't have a home to run to.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"