Family jokes

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.

It’s me back at it again.

The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!!

What do you call my sister?

Suicidal.

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.

One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.

Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?

Jack: Bad News first.

Mother: I'm dying!

Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.

Mother: *cries*

Jack was never seen again.

Why do orphans always get picked on?

They can't run and tell their parents.

Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.

Mom: No, honey, I killed him.

Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Two pedos are on the beach.

One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."

I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.