Family Jokes

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother had diabetes.

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

Orphan: No Way Home.

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

A screenshot of a social media post where Chi Sosa asks about people's most embarrassing sex moment. A commenter replies, "our grandma walked in". Below the social media post there is a picture of Thanos asking, "OUR?".

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call “daddy.”

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?

Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.

I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"

He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.