Family

Family jokes

Orphan

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

Ass

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

Orphan

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Memes

Infant

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play sports?

Because they don’t have a home team.

Boy

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

Incest

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

Money

A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.

The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.

Anorexia

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

  • 0
  • Orphan

    You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

    Orphan: No Way Home.

    Orphan

    An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

    "If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

    Cancer

    What's the difference between me and cancer?

    My dad didn't beat cancer.

    Carnival

    Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?

    Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.

    Hare

    I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"

    He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."