Family jokes
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Memes
Hey daddy *winky face*
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!