The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
Family Jokes
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Tyler
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
