Family jokes
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Mom!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.