Family jokes
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
Mom!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.