An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Family Jokes
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Why donāt orphans play baseball?
'Cause they canāt hit a home run.
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Dad?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So thatās why you wear makeup?
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
