Family jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?

Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?

Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

What is an orphan's least favorite show?

"Fuller House."

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.