Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Family Jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Your mother.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
I was raised as an only child.
Which really annoyed my twin sister.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Your mum's foreheads.
