What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Family Jokes
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
I love these orphan jokes. It's not like they're gonna go tell their parents. ☠
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
