Family jokes
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.