Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Teacher: I’m gonna call ur parents Orphan: go on see if they pick up
What is the orphans version to a family portrait
A selfie
