I turned the light on and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What is an Orphans least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences and return to school the next day. When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call so he angrily shouted at the child “Shut up you Donkey!” The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom who assumed that he wanted to play video games so she said “No my dear, tomorrow.” That was his second sentence. For the third sentence he went to his older brother who was watching football where someone scored a goal so he was jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” For the fourth sentence he went to his sister who was singing “Spider-Man Spider-Man!”. For the last sentence he went to his grandmother who was cleaning the toilet and singing “Under the toilet, under the toilet”. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, “Shut up you Donkey!” The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, “Do you want me to slap you?” The boy said, “No my dear, tomorrow.” This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately he started jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” The teacher dragged him to the principal’s office as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was to which he replied by singing “ Spider-Man Spider-Man!” She asked him where he lived so he sang “Under the toilet, under the toilet”.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with thw royal family...
Rolls Royce
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
Why are Mexican families so big? They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Blonde starts new job at local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.... The gentleman has a good look round before saying to the blonde 'it looks perfect....But Cargo space?' To which she instantly replied 'Oh I'm Sorry sir, Car only for road.
Why didn't the orphan go to orphanage? He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Dad- Son do you want to play roc’ ‘‘em soc robots?
Son- sure, let me get it from the closet
Dad- No, bring your sisters, just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
I told my fam a joke
They all looked at me weird and one person even said “I’m sorry”
Son: Dad were are you Dad: Getting another one Son: Getting what Dad: Dad
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour? Because it can't hit home
Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family. Right in front of his stupid face.
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There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
