Family jokes
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.