Fall jokes
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
I love my family.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!