Failing jokes
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.