Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
