Failing jokes
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"
"It didn't have the guts!"
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Yo mama so dumb, she failed lunch.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.