Failing jokes
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.