Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
