Face jokes

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

What do you call a school that can talk?

A school with a face!

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.

The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"