Face jokes
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Memes
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
. --------
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
Mo sal. F.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?