Face jokes

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

Mo sal. F.

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.

What's the difference between my father and acne?

Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.

Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.