To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens... BA-DUM CHHH!
Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch
Why cant Hellen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl
Why does an Orphan never learn how to drive cause he has no dad to help him
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
whats a whale's favorite James Bond movie? liscence to krill
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
Today is sad my sister got hit by a car and I lost my license as a driver
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich
Q: why cant helen keller drive? A: because shes a woman
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
They said I couldnt drive. now they know i cant cause they are all dead
Yo Forehead is so big. .the photo on yo Driver's License says "to be continued on the back"
A cop pulls a man over and finds out hes drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says ̈Can i see your flashlight? ̈ and the cop says ̈just give me your license and registration. ̈ so drunk guy says ̈not until you give me your flashlight. ̈ the cop said ̈for what? ̈ and the drunk guy says ̈so i can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like. ̈
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
