To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Yo Forehead is so big. .the photo on yo Driver's License says "to be continued on the back"
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens... BA-DUM CHHH!
A cop pulls a man over and finds out hes drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says ̈Can i see your flashlight? ̈ and the cop says ̈just give me your license and registration. ̈ so drunk guy says ̈not until you give me your flashlight. ̈ the cop said ̈for what? ̈ and the drunk guy says ̈so i can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like. ̈
Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch
Yo momma so short...You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!!
Why cant Hellen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl
Why does an Orphan never learn how to drive cause he has no dad to help him
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin. At least now I can have his phone he left.
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
I ran into a kid today now im in jail and i lost ma drivers license
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
whats a whale's favorite James Bond movie? liscence to krill
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
